Twas the Afternoon Before Prom
by rogueop452
Summary: A parody of the last show from season 2.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This poem is written in the style of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas". The structure and certain slight phrasing were used for the purpose of the parody. No copyright infringement is intended. I do not own Kyle XY. This is a parody of the last show from season two with slight variations here and there.

'_Twas the afternoon before prom and all around the gym,_

_Twenty seven students were looking both tired and grim._

_Except for Josh and Andy who were smooching in the girls locker room,_

_While they hid from the 'prom nazi' aka Amanda Bloom._

_The streamers were hung about the stage with care,_

_In hopes that the backdrop soon would be there._

_But for reasons that no one could possibly foresee,_

_The backdrop was a no show...It was not meant to be._

_The news spread quickly, filling the decorations committee with dismay._

_Even their leader, the usual cheerful Amanda was led astray._

"_What the h-e-double toothpicks did you just say? _

_You've got to be kidding me...no effing way! _

_First my prom dress gets shredded by Fu Chong. _

_Why is everything suddenly going so wrong?"_

_She stomped her feet in a frustrated rage,_

_And with a flip of her hair stormed off the stage._

_Upon hearing the tinge of despair in his girlfriends voice,_

_Kyle, being the good boyfriend that he was had only one choice._

_Like a knight in shining armor he flew across the room,_

_Hoping to dispel her uncharacteristic gloom._

_Amanda threw her arms around him in greeting,_

_But the smile she flashed his way was fleeting._

"_Oh Kyle, I'm so upset right now I could just scream._

_That sunset backdrop was vital for my ocean paradise theme."_

"_Amanda," Kyle began with dutiful concern, _

"_What can I do to help your mood take an upturn?"_

_Surely there was something that he could do._

_After all, he was more than a boy with a high IQ._

_But even with determination as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar,_

_Amanda's stubborn pride he was unable to alter._

_She continued decorating the gym without skipping a beat._

_Her next words proved she had resigned herself to defeat._

"_I guess I'll have to settle for prom without the magic,_

_And just hope that the evening doesn't end tragic."_

"_We still have time, I could..." Kyle began to insist,_

_But with a roll of her eyes he was quickly dismissed._

"_So there's nothing I can do for you?" he asked feeling dejected._

"_No," Amanda replied, but her lie was instantly detected._

_Her cheeks turned crimson when she realized she'd been caught,_

_But she knew Kyle would forgive her more often than not._

"_Well, if you really want to help you can pick up my dress."_

_Kyle happily agreed; glad to alleviate some of her stress._

_After waiting patiently for Josh and Andy to end their long lip lock,_

_Andy gave the boys a ride to the dry cleaners down the block._

_Kyle had Amanda's dress in hand in no time and all,_

_And was soon back in Andy's car listening to Josh's out of tune caterwaul._

_But only moments after saying goodbye to Fu Chong,_

_Kyle gazed at Amanda's dress and knew that something was wrong._

"_This isn't the right color," he said trying to make himself heard,_

_But over the loud music and singing he couldn't get in a word._

_As soon as Andy dropped them off at the end of their street,_

_Josh began muttering about baseball and nervously dragging his feet._

"_Andy says she has big plans for me after prom._

_I'm not that experienced. What if I totally bomb?"_

_But Kyle's attention was elsewhere, with problems of his own,_

_And instead of Josh's words, all he heard was a monotonous drone._

"_This dress isn't yellow," Kyle said as if in wonder,_

_Hoping that the dry cleaners hadn't made a blunder._

"_Dude this is important," Josh cried out in anguish,_

_Fearing that in virginity he was destined to languish._

"_I'm talking about getting laid._

_I don't care if Amanda's dress looks more silver than lemonade._

_I might be rounding the bases with Andy tonight._

_I'm not sure if I can...you know...do it right."_

_Kyle put his concerns on hold sensing Josh's deep confusion,_

_And quickly recalled his researched conclusion._

"_If having sex on prom night is what you're implying,_

_Seventeen percent of the teens that tried ended up dying."_

_Josh cringed. "Seriously? Just for trying?"_

"_According to statistics in movies I'm not lying,"_

_Kyle replied with his usual sincerity. _

_Inspiring Josh to proclaim with sobering clarity,_

"_Woa...bummer. That's a high price to pay,_

_All for the sake of a roll in the hay."_

_And with that, Josh grinned and finally began to relax,_

_At the same time Kyle stopped dead in his tracks._

"_What is it Kyle? What do you see?_

_You suddenly look more nervous than me."_

_Kyle had sensed someone watching from across the lane,_

_But he was short on time and had a vest to stain. _

_He gave Josh a reassuring smile. "It was nothing," he denied,_

_Before turning up the driveway and heading inside._

_**Authors note:** _

Should I continue or is this lame?

I really want to know, but please don't flame.

All right you can flame if I deserve it,

But I can't promise I won't have a snit.


	2. Chapter 2

_The excitement and anticipation mounting..._

'_Twas two hours to go before prom and still counting._

_All the Trager's were busy throughout the house..._

_Josh playing G-Force on the computer with his mouse._

_Lining up his enemy in the cross hairs,_

_With visions of Andy lying in his bed upstairs._

_Lori in the kitchen flirting with Mark,_

_Trying hard to deny between them the spark._

_The friendship had started out rather rocky,_

_'Tween the high school senior and the disc jockey._

_His attempt to approach her on that first day,_

_Had gotten him a face full of pepper spray._

_Now together they seemed to be a perfect fit,_

_Though Lori wasn't quite ready to admit it._

_And Kyle slaving diligently over a Bunsen burner._

_Proving once again that he was a fast learner._

_The task of stripping the silver nitrate away, _

_Was a breeze for a genius on any given day._

_All was going well 'till his mixture blew up..._

_He'd neglected to use a measuring cup._

_With a heavy sigh he rinsed out Amanda's dress..._

_Thank the lucky stars it was durable press!_

_Soon on Kyle's bedroom door there came a knocking._

_The fact that it was Jessi wasn't so shocking._

_Often she showed up at his window unexpected,_

_Though her proffered love he had long ago rejected._

_She strolled into the room and looked around,_

_First with somber regard and then a slight frown._

"_You've made a mess," she proclaimed matter of factly._

_Kyle agreed, but didn't know what to do exactly._

"_The formula's not working," he said in defeat._

_When Jessi offered to help, he took a backseat._

"_After all I am smarter than you," she threw in,_

_With a twinkle in her eye and a wry grin._

_Her teasing didn't exact a response right away..._

_Kyle was gazing out the window in dismay._

"_What are you looking for?" she asked curiously._

_His answer caused her to stir the dye furiously._

"_Adam said that Latnok was watching me before._

_He told me they've stopped, but I'm not so sure anymore."_

_Jessi shuddered as Ballantines image flashed in her head._

_Her memories of him often caused her to see red._

"_I think Latnok is creepy and Sarah agrees,"_

_Jessi stated with obvious distress and unease._

"_Sarah wants to leave town to start over new,"_

_She suddenly informed Kyle out of the blue,_

_Then quickly changed the subject when she felt her heart ache,_

"_Add nickel iodine if you want the dye to take."_

_Kyle's face lit up in shock. "Jessi...You're my friend._

_I'd be sad if our relationship had to end."_

_Their eyes met and she saw that his held tears._

_The thought that he cared for her erased all her fears._

_Jessi's lower lip trembled and her pulse beat fast,_

_But her hopes that Kyle would tell her not to leave were dashed,_

_When their rare and intense moment of rapport, _

_Was interrupted by a call Kyle couldn't ignore._

_Amanda's ring tone made Jessi want to hurl..._

_Deep down inside she was still a very naughty girl._

_She pouted and heaved a sigh of frustration,_

_As she watched Kyle open his phone with elation._

"_I picked up your dress just like you told me to do._

_When are you coming home, my sweet Amandapooh?"_

"_Great!" Amanda said with relief. "Kyle you totally rule! _

_But would you mind dropping it off here at school?_

_I still have a few last minute details in the gym._

_The chances of making it home in time are quite slim."_

_Kyle's brow furrowed deeply at that bit of news._

_He offered his help hoping this time she wouldn't refuse._

"_You shouldn't have to work so hard, it's not fair._

_I'm coming to assist you. I'll be right there."_

"_No you can't see me like this I'm a mess._

_Please don't come in," she begged. "Just send the dress."_

_Kyle closed over his phone then hung his head in despair,_

_Disappointing Amanda he truly couldn't bare._

"_Her dress is still wet," he stated in low spirit._

"_You need to get ready," Jessi said. "I'll take care of it." _

_Kyle was surprised. "You want to help Amanda?"_

"_No. I'm doing this for you not Ablanda."_

_Kyle gave Jessi a stern look as though he might spank her,_

_But luckily for her all he did was thank her._

_With a heavy heart, Jessi headed for the door,_

_Glad that she was Kyle's friend but wanting so much more._

_Soon thereafter Kyle proudly displayed on his chest,_

_His fresh from the dryer homemade silver dyed vest._

_He was the picture of perfection from his head to his feet._

_As she glanced at him Nicole's heart skipped a beat._

"_Nice job on the tie," she said, "and the rose is a beauty."_

"_Thanks," Kyle replied. "The tie was a breeze and the rose is for my cutie._

_I got it from the garden...Amanda and I had our first kiss there._

_To surpass her expectations, I'm handling every detail with care."_

_Nicole nodded her approval and feeling the urge to preach,_

_Took a deep breath before beginning her speech._

"_You think of everything. You're always so smart,_

_But in your quest for perfection don't neglect the most important part._

_Take the time to enjoy each and every moment on this day._

_Don't forget to stop and smell the roses yourself along the way."_

"_For Amanda's sake, I want to ensure everything turns out just right._

_But don't worry," he promised. "I'll also focus on having a good time tonight."_

_Although Kyle appreciated Nicole's offering of motherly advice,_

_Her next pearl of wisdom made him think twice._

"_When you first came here everything in the world was new._

_Let tonight be a celebration of all that you've been through._

_I'm sorry Adam left," she added. "Saying goodbye to family is hard to do."_

"_But you are my family," Kyle replied. "I thought you knew."_


	3. Chapter 3

_The rest of the afternoon proceeded as planned,_

_Having the 'time of their life' was soon close at hand._

_Expectations abounded as the clock ticked away,_

_Nary a soul aware the night would end in dismay._

_The 'father and son talk' was very discreet._

_Josh was no worse for the wear when it was complete._

_Soon he was downstairs looking tres debonair;_

_A condom in his pocket and mousse in his hair._

_Declan waited oh-so-suavely by the stairwell,_

_Hoping his second chance with Lori would fair well._

_His forced mask of nonchalance did well to hide,_

_The thought of losing her he couldn't abide._

_Hillary knew the truth, but had secrets of her own,_

_Which even to her best friend Lori, were unbeknown._

_Though she would most likely be hard pressed to admit it..._

_She often hid her pain behind sarcasm and wit._

_Lori applied Andy's makeup in her room,_

_In an effort to make her look 'va va voom'._

_Once her work was done there wasn't a trace_

_Of 'vampire clown whore' left on her face._

_Although Andy normally preferred to dress down,_

_She was a knockout in her yellow chiffon gown._

_When she made her entrance down the staircase all aglow,_

_Josh felt very proud she had chosen him as her beau._

_Nicole snapped their picture for posterity,_

_While Kyle had a deep moment of clarity._

_He persuaded everyone to skip dinner,_

_To ensure that prom night would be a winner._

_They took the limo to the gym to save the day._

_Their efforts did wonders to help pave the way,_

_For a totally successful prom night equation,_

_On this so very special momentous occasion._

_Amanda put on her gown in the locker room,_

_Completely unaware of her appending doom._

_Jessi gave her best effort to assist her,_

_Though she secretly hated when Kyle kissed her._

_To help avert a decorations disaster,_

_Kyle's artwork was taped onto the stage plaster._

_He altered the lighting to create a mood,_

_With dimmers and fog machines to allude,_

_Then waited amidst a sea of balloons on the dance floor,_

_Hoping to surpass expectations there was a chance for._

_When Amanda entered the gym and gasped with delight,_

_He let out his breath and knew all was right._

_The decorations and lighting were without flaw._

_"It's perfect," Amanda marveled with deep felt awe._

_Kyle's eyes twinkled and his smile got all dimply._

_"I had a little help," he replied simply._

_The crowds tripped the light fantastic all through the night._

_Everything seemed to be going alright._

_But soon a barrage of problems ensued..._

_Spiked punch, water leaks and conversations misconstrued._

_Kyle handled it all with great finesse and ease,_

_Then bounced to a line dance that was aimed to please._

_But not before bidding Jessi a fond adieu,_

_For one 'last hurrah' off the roof she flew!_

_After a long make out session in seclusion,_

_Josh spoke to Andy and came to a conclusion._

_There would be no sex had by him that day..._

_Sex on prom night was entirely too cliché!_

_Prom ended too soon for Amanda and Kyle,_

_But of course he didn't let that cramp his style._

_Once their mutual love was denoted,_

_In true superhero fashion he floated._

_On their way out the door Amanda detected,_

_Her clothes she'd accidentally neglected._

_Kyle's gentlemanly offer to assist her,_

_Soon had him wishing that he'd kissed her._

_With a blue Latnok ring held tightly in his hand,_

_He stood all alone trying to understand._

_The realization left him badly shaken..._

_His sweet Amanda had been taken!_

_..  
_


End file.
